Bringing Maggie home

After 4-year waiting period, Decatur native one of last single moms to adopt from China

By Patrice Stewart
Staff Writer

Courtesy photo by Jennifer Culp from 810studio.com Tricia Thompson with her adopted daughter, Maggie, and mother Ann Thompson during a photo session in Decatur. After a four-year wait, Tricia was one of the last single moms able to adopt from China. BUY THIS PHOTO  (More info)

After four years of planning, paperwork and prayers, Tricia Thompson was finally able to adopt a toddler from China.

Maggie is special for many reasons, including the fact that she is one of the last children China is allowing to be adopted by a single mom.

Tricia, who grew up in Decatur and now lives in Pelham, sent her packet of information to China in July 2006, expecting to be matched to an infant in about a year. Ten months later, China changed its rules and stopped allowing singles adopt, but those already on the list could continue the process. 

“That’s when it got scary,” Tricia said, referring to the 2007 rule changes toward stricter policies.

Tricia, longing to fill an empty space in her life, was 42 in 2006, when she started the process to adopt a girl from China through Lifeline Children’s Services. That year she officially applied and also began researching day-care centers, paid an application fee and shopped for baby items.

She decided to name the baby for her mother, Margaret Ann Thompson of Decatur (who goes by Ann), and call her Maggie.

And then she waited, and waited some more, through repeated requests for letters and birth certificates and other verification (read about the process at Tricia’s blog at www.tmifamily.com).

In 2009, Tricia decided to go with her mother on a two-week October cruise to see Greece and nearby countries.

As soon as Tricia got back to work, her social worker called with the news that China had a girl for her, and she should prepare to leave for China in a few weeks.

Best-laid plans

For four years, she and her cousin, Laurie Loyd, who was to be the baby’s godmother, had planned to go to China together and bring the baby back. However, when the exact dates in December were confirmed, it included the week when Laurie and her entire family had booked a cruise.

Tricia’s mother quickly made plans to go with her for the two-week stay in the White Swan Hotel in Guangdong City, Guangdong Province, People’s Republic of China. Maggie would be brought to the Civic Affairs office there by one of the “nannies” at her orphanage, the Huazhou City Social Welfare Institute in Guangdong Province, about 4 hours away.

“Thank goodness Laurie couldn’t go, because I wouldn’t take anything in the world for getting to see Tricia hold Maggie for the first time,” Ann said. “She’s a precious little girl and has bonded so well with Tricia, who is the best little mother.”

While Maggie was quiet and shy for the first couple of days they had her in China, “she woke up after that and is so bubbly all the time,” said her grandmother. “But if you hurt her feelings, she can get that lip out in a hurry.”

Tricia, who received photos of Maggie in October, recalls first seeing her in the arms of an orphanage worker in an elevator in the Civil Affairs office in Guangdong City on Dec. 7.

Later, when all the families had arrived, the children were officially presented.

“When the director handed her to me, I started crying, and Maggie just stared at me. It was the sweetest thing, and I couldn’t believe she was my daughter,” Tricia said. “She wouldn’t cuddle up to me at first, but she let me hold her, and she would hold onto my hair, which was like a pacifier for her.”

She learned about Maggie’s nap and bottle schedule, and then they went to the Chinese version of Wal-Mart to load up on diapers and formula.

Tricia said she could not have managed without her mother’s help in China, where they were allowed to keep the baby with them in the hotel.

“Mom was the one who made the bottles and did everything I needed, but she was careful not to be involved in the caretaking part right at first. She did the work, while I held Maggie and played with her,” said Tricia.

She had to teach Maggie how to have fun and play during a bath and how to use the toys she brought. Tricia carried her close to her body in a baby carrier to foster attachment and Maggie liked that, but she liked the stroller even better.

“We knew she could walk, but she wouldn’t, until we got her some leather squeaky shoes in China,” Tricia said. “Then she would stomp her feet to make her shoes squeak, and start laughing, and that was the main thing that brought her out of her shell.”

Throughout the two weeks they were in China, Tricia said, it was exciting to see her develop. Maggie kissed her the first time during the second week.

“Her orphanage was poor, but they loved on her, and she knew how to love. I think that really helped with her attachment and trust,” she said.

At the orphanage, 29 babies were in her room with four nannies, Tricia said, “so she was probably in her crib 20 hours a day.”

They arrived home in Birmingham on Dec. 19, and after some family visits, Tricia decided they needed a low-key Christmas with time to bond at home.

Tricia has a wide support group via an Internet adoption group, including some friends with children from China in Birmingham and Decatur. She also is active in Shelby County Families with Children from China, where Maggie was first introduced at the Chinese New Year celebration. Her Chinese first name was kept as part of her name, so she is officially Margaret Ann Sheng Thompson.

Last month, Maggie was formally introduced to her grandmother’s friends at a “Sip and See Maggie” party at June Odom’s home in Decatur. Co-hostesses Kathryn Wilkes, Joyce Nabors, Susan Horton and Linda Brooks helped serve raspberry cream cheese sandwiches, strawberry mini cupcakes, cherry Russian tea and other goodies.

Cookbook for Maggie

Many of those attending loaned recipes for the cookbook Tricia published in 2006 to help pay for the adoption process. “Recipes from the Heart: My Journey to Maggie” was featured in The Decatur Daily then. A few copies are still available by e-mailing tricia@tmi
family.com

In the cookbook, Tricia’s “Letter to Maggie” told how she had “an emptiness in my heart” for a child to love. “I will not be complete until you are my daughter,” she wrote.

Today, she knows the four years of waiting and uncertainties were nothing compared to the joy Maggie has brought.

“She’s so much fun,” said Tricia. “She’s already changed so much, from the baby she was in China to a typical 2-year-old, singing, laughing, running, jumping, dancing and squealing.”

Because Ann was one of the first two people Maggie got used to in China, she earned Maggie’s trust from the start. Ann has already driven to Birmingham twice to bring Maggie to Decatur for an overnight stay.

All the firsts have been so sweet for daughter, mother and grandmother: first birthday celebration (Maggie turned 2 on Feb. 17), first Easter, first time to walk barefoot in the grass and swing and go down a slide.

Tricia, 46, continues to be amazed at the doors that were left open for her to adopt this child.

“God knows what he’s doing, and the timing was his plan,” she said.

She returned to her Birmingham job as a training analyst for Burr & Forman legal firm Feb. 4, and each morning she takes Maggie to Harris Early Learning Center downtown.

“My favorite thing ever is when I go to get her in the afternoon and she runs to me and jumps into my arms and squeals,” Tricia said.

“It’s like she’s been my daughter forever.”