Today the referals are coming in for those who were LID up to Oct. 24, 2005.  October and November are two of the largest months of LID's that are out there so it may take several months to get through them.

 

China Center of Adoption Affairs' (CCAA) website usually post a tickler that states where they are in matching referrals.  You can see some of those pictures in my previous posts.  However, they have decided not to include that anymore which is a little frustrating to us that are waiting.  It was our measure of where we are in the whole process.  Now, all of us adoptive parents are having to rely on Rumor Queen's site to see who all received referrals.  It is a little sad that China seems to be taking away the communication a little more each month.

 

The good news is that some waiting families received their referrals of their little ones!  I am so excited for all of them and rejoice with their families!  I can't wait to see the blogs of the families with referrals as it is probably my favorite time of the process each month.  Those little faces are now matched up with their family.  I KNOW that one day, it will be me and Maggie's turn.

 

Now for the No So Good News!  It seems that there has not been a speed up like we were hoping.  The same number of babies were referred for just a few weeks again this time.  If we stay on the same track of referrals, it is looking like I will not get matched with Maggie until around May or June of 2008.  That would put me traveling in July or August to get her.  I was really holding out for her referral at the end of this year but it doesn't seem like that is going to happen.

 

You know I have given this process to GOD from the beginning.  He has guided me and provided for me through the whole process.  I am not going to stop believing in this process yet.  He has perfect timing and it is HIS timing that I want, not Tricia's.  But somedays, it seems like a "head/heart" battle.  My head knows that He will provide but that ole heart needs some nudging along.  It is so hard to be on this roller coaster.  One day you are hurrying through the process and are told 6 to 8 months from your LID and then you are told to WAIT the wait has increased to 24 months.  I have to believe that GOD has not finished with me nor is Maggie ready for this.  It is my faith, love and trust for GOD that is keeping me grounded.  I just may need a little reminder here and there!  LOL

 

Sorry for the venting above, but I guess this is why I have this blog.  I want Maggie to someday know how badly she was wanted and prayed for.  I want her to know that she was born to be my daughter and is NOT a "abandoned" child.  She is meant for me and God has her life all planned out.  She just found her way to her mommy in a different way than most little girls.

 

I have been asked by a few people lately, why stay with China since it is taking so long.  My answer to that is that Maggie is in China.  Yes Vietnam, or Guatemala may be faster but I really feel like Maggie is in China.  I may have started the process to adopt a little girl and chose China but now I really feel like China chose me and that is where my daughter will be.  I am very excited for those who have decided to go to another country, that is there decision and one where they feel led.  I just don't feel led to go there.  God is just not ready for me to be a mother yet.  He will prepare both Maggie, her birthparents and me and my family for just the right moment and I wouldn't want it any other way.

 

I was walking with my workout group the other Saturday when God gave me the neatest thought.  I passed an older couple out with their little 3 year old boy feeding the ducks at the lake.  They were headed back to the car and I heard the grandmother say, "That was so much fun, now were are going ...."  I couldn't hear what was next but the grandparents were having so much fun with their little grandson that they were just playing all day long.  It made me think of my father.  For those of you who know me know that I lost my father in Feb. of 1999 of a sudden heart attack.  If you knew him, you would just be able to see him now, up in heaven, trying to help God pick out my Maggie.  He would have been the grandfather taking Maggie everywhere and having a really fun time.  I thought, Dad is going to meet Maggie before I will.  He will be up there with God while she is being created, and nutured and protected until I can get to her.  "Dad, I pray that you will help watch over her until she and I are together.  By the way, you can put a little of your crazy sense of humor into her as well.  I really do miss that...

 

OKAY, enough of the sob story - just missing my dad a little.  I thank all of you for reading my inner most thoughts.  Someday, Maggie may like to have this journal.  My love,

 

Tricia